Soccer Game

I neglected to sign up for a soccer team this year, and regret it. Last night though, I got to play on one of my friend’s teams. We had two games. We lost the first 5-8, but I insist that we scored more goals per minute we had control of the ball. I don’t know the score of the second game. The other team did not have a full team, and so played down the first half, and one of our players went to help them out the second half. It was really goofy and fun.

A bunch of my friends came to watch us play. That didn’t last very long, and they broke out into their own game. I joined them after my game ended and we played for another hour.

I really didn’t play that hard, but I haven’t done any running, or exercise since last winter. I woke up this morning sore all over.

We had a lot of fun last night, and I will definitely be up for another round, especially just goofing around with everyone. Maybe next time it won’t be raining.

Midterms

So I have studied for almost five hours today. I have two tests tomorrow so it has been kinda crazy. I will have to go back and study more later.

My brain is broken at the moment though, so right now I am watching Steven Universe with all my friends. It is a very odd show. I have never really been into cartoons, but this one is pretty good.

Advice for the future, don’t wait until the day before to start studying. It just makes things really hard.

Sleeping Arrangements

All of my friends have gotten really close. So close that people often sleep in each other’s rooms. This is an ordinary thing at this point. Tonight I have one staying over (and not for the first time either). It works out pretty well as my roommate is out most nights, but this is the first time I have a friendships, especially with guys, where this is a totally okay and normal thing. There was one night last week where there was one in my roommates bed (which she gave the okay for), and another on the floor. (I have to wonder what the neighbors think when guys come walking out of my room in the morning).

In general, the group is very comfortable with close contact. There will often be three people huddled on a bed to watch a movie, or a pile of people on the floor just lying against each other. It all seems very bizarre. I personally am not a cuddler,  and I have never known people to be so comfortable with each other. Most of us have only known each other for a few weeks. If everyone is this close now, I am curious where we will be by the end of the year.

Asexuality at Queer Club

We had a really great meeting at Queer Club tonight. The topic was the asexuality spectrum. There was a lot of in depth conversation about media representation, exclusion, and under-representation. The conversation got a bit dark at times, but the fact that we could have such an open conversation is really great. We talked for a full hour as a large group, but several of us continued the conversation past when the meeting officially ended.

It is really nice be around so many people and hear their stories and experiences. Ace Club is in progress. I am so happy to have found this community.

Ace Club Update!

So Ace Club is going to actually be a thing!

We brought it up at the Queer Club meeting today, and currently have 11 people signed up to be part of it. I have a mountain of paperwork, but people are excited. I really want this to work out.

I haven’t really thought out what we are supposed to do at meetings, just having the group together seems like enough for now. We can work out the details later.

We will see how much I get done tonight. So far we have a Facebook Page and an email list, so at least we can contact each other.

Still haven’t decided on a name…

Ace Club

I am thinking about starting an Ace Club at my school. Getting the paperwork done will be a pain, but doable I think. I have to write an entire club constitution. The hardest part will be finding five people to sign on as dedicated founding members. I may have to get some of my friends to sign on as ghost members. The admin doesn’t need to know that they don’t show up to meetings, right?

Queer Club is awesome, but I would really like to create a place for just Aces. Apparently there used to be a group, but as far as I can tell it has completely disbanded and no longer exists.

I am debating on whether to bring it up at Queer Club tomorrow, or wait another week until I have done more of the paperwork.

I also need a cool name. Nothing wrong with Ace Club, but I have the opportunity to call it whatever I want (or at least what the tiny group of founders wants to call it).

I don’t know where this will lead in the next couple weeks. My goal is to have things up and running by the beginning of winter term.

Escape

I have found that I use books as a means to escape. For a lot of my life I have been trying to run from my own reality.

I started compulsively reading in elementary school. I was an outcast. I could sit at a crowded lunch table, and within moments I would be sitting alone. There was always something that would drive them away.

So I began to escape into books. I would devour them. Dozens and dozens, so many that the librarians knew me by name. I read through most of the school’s limited collection. Beautiful worlds, heroic characters, fearsome creatures, and evil villains. I would run into fantasies; anywhere where I could avoid my own truth.

Eventually I made friends. By seventh grade I had a small group I surrounded myself with, but I couldn’t help but feel that I was always on the outside. I always felt like an outsider. Walking through the hallways or down the street, I was far too often the one alone in the back, separated from the paired conversations.

So I continued to read. I could read a thousand pages in a week. More and more I would escape into the plots and made up worlds.

In high school, I began to question my sexuality. I didn’t know what I was. All my friends talked about how hot guys were, but I couldn’t see it. I thought that maybe it was because I might like girls better, but the answer was still no.

I read to escape the thoughts that there might be something wrong with me. I read so that I could run away from the idea that I might be broken. I read to hide from a reality that I didn’t want to be part of.

It took me a long time to discover the name for what I was; to learn that I was not broken.

Ever since I have accepted my identity, and came out to my friends, I have not felt the need to escape. I still love the stories that books hold, but I don’t read to run away. For the first time in forever I am happy with who I am, and with my reality.

Coming Out

I came out publicly on the October 11th: National Coming Out Day. I put a post on Facebook, a bit cliche I’m sure, but I don’t really care about that. I am thankful that everyone was so supportive (at least the people who made any comments).

Today my Dad called. I had not told him before I had posted, and today was the first time that I had talked to him since then. He said that he didn’t care what I was, and that he loved me. I am thankful that he didn’t make a big deal, but I am even more grateful that that he was so accepting.

I doubt he completely understands; I doubt that anyone outside the ace community could ever really understand. Mostly I am glad to have so much support. I know that there are a lot of people who don’t have nearly as much.

Food Rules

One of my friends has made up some especially odd rules regarding food. They are overly complex and completely nonsensical. They are as follows:

1. The combination of two foods is always at least as good as the worst food. Drinks and other liquids do not count.
2. Most things are sandwiches.
3. The optimal food temperature for anything is never room temp- you always must warm things or cool them.
4. You can’t slightly flavor water. 
5. Muffins are evil.
6. Sandwiches are better the more things you put on them.
7. Cupcakes are just muffins pretending to be nice.

There is also a comprehensive definition of a sandwich.

A sandwich is any food that has a cohesive piece of starchy substance (carrots and beet slices count, as do rice grains). If you have 2-10 they are sliders. If you have more than 10 they no longer have a label (they are just what they originally were). Also, the definition changes depending on how you eat them.
If you cut a sandwich in half: if a chef cuts it and then serves it to two people, they are two sandwiches (if during preparation they are cut). If you yourself cut the sandwich in half right before eating it, it is just one sandwich still.
At this point in the argument, a sandwich as it is culturally defined is now called a “sheepwich”

Salads have also been defined, though much more generally. A salad is any combination of two or more foods.

We have attempted to break the rules of food, but have so far been only successful in amending them.

We spend inordinate amounts of time discussing these rules. We need a new topic of discussion.

:)

So I don’t have anything in particular to post tonight, so I am going to take this opportunity to say how thankful I am to have my friend group here in college.

I have a really hard time meeting people. Being social is not something that comes naturally to me, so finding people who I can connect with is amazing.

I have been accepted into a group of really cool and fun people. We stay up late watching videos, talking, and laughing. I don’t think I have laughed so much in my entire life. I only met them a couple weeks ago, but I have made faster friends with these people then I have with anyone.

They are some of the first people I have been completely open with, partly because I have only recently been able to be completely open and accepting of myself. They take me as I am.

I do not have the words to adequately express how I feel, but mostly I am happy. I am happy that I can be myself, I am happy that they make me laugh, I am happy that I can call these people my friends.